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ambilis ng pag-ikot ng kamay ng orasan.

pati pagtibok ng puso kong nananahimik ng ilang buwan, bumibilis din.

sumaglit ka naman. hinahanap ka niya.

napagkatuwaan ko lang magsasasagot ng survey…hehe…eto ang website nya

http://www.blogthings.com/topics/?topic=girls%20only

ayun na-hook na ako agad..as in sumasakto naman talaga sa personality ko un result ng mga sinasagutan ko..hehehe…at eto nga…

>>What Your Handbag Says About You

You tend to be on high alert. You are very aware of your surroundings. You are a low maintenance person. You can adapt to a variety of situations. You are open and comfortable with who you are. You don’t hide anything. Your motto is: “Be prepared.” You don’t like to be surprised by anything. You are an outgoing and expressive person. You always speak your mind, and you’re very approachable. You are a very unique and special person. There’s no one else who is anything like you.

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Does Your World Revolve Around Your Guy?

>>Your Life Revolves Around Yourself

There’s no chance that you’re going to let your guy control you. You’ve got your own thing going on – and he’s lucky to be a part of it. And even though he might pressure you to consider his feelings a little more… He’s secretly into how independent you really are.

@@@@@@@@@@@@

Who Wears the Pants… You or Your Guy?

>>Both of You Wear the Pants

You and your guy seem to have stuck the perfect power balance. It’s not that you don’t disagree – it’s just that you’ve learned how to compromise well. You’re both mature enough to know that you can’t always get your way… And usually, you’re both adult enough to reach an agreement – even if that sometimes means giving in a little.

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What Kind of Ex-Girlfriend Are You?

>>You Are a Friendly Ex

While the guys you’ve dated haven’t been perfect, you’ve kept most as friends In fact, one or two of your exes may be your best friends – after all, they know you best And though your mature attitude is awesome, make sure nothing gets too weird Or else you could lose these friendships, simply because your exes’ new women think you’re *too* friendly

@@@@@@@@@@@@

Are You Truth or Dare?

>>You Are Dare

You are outrageous, adventurous, and wild. You live to have fun. You are all about taking risks and pushing limits. You love the rush of doing something forbidden. Like most daring people, you are highly intelligent and creative. That’s why you get bored so easily. You need a lot of stimulation and novelty in your life. You aren’t satisfied with the mundane.

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minsan isang umaga, narealize ko na wala ka na sa sistema ko. pinagod mo ang pusong handang makinig sa’yo. sinamantala ang pagkakataon na may nagbibigay ng atensyon sa’yo. at ang masaklap sa lahat. naisip mong buhatin ang sarili mong upuan, tumangkad ka lang.

 

you’re gone.  di mo iningatan yun tiwala at friendship na hindi ko naman kusang ini-offer sa’yo.

wag ka nang babalik.

He’s back…so what??!

seven years in the making. three years after i said “stop. the waiting’s over. there’s no turning back.”  i’ve lingered on it for over three years now, asking myself questions that has an answer already. he is the guy  i’ve loved, the first one in the opposite sex that i’ve saved the biggest space in my heart before. i’ve waited for four years, seemed to be enough, but nothing happens. it’s a sad truth to know that TIME is wasted, yet not even a single regret on my part that i’ve given him that kind of love and attention. when i’m truly in love, i do the very utmost thing I can do for my loveone just to reach him, and yes, i did. but this ended as a one-way love affair.

three years had passed after i gave him up and i’m in a new relationship. it didn’t work well, the problem: he has no time for me. he is a busy man and he forgot that he’s committed to me. and then we broke up…now, he wanted me back but i can’t. it lasted for only three months,,,imagine that’s my first relationship ever and it just didn’t take long.

i’m in the process of moving on. several months later, i’m in a new love. perhaps what makes it easier to move on after my first relationship is that the idea of love is not that strong..or the feeling i should say. but still i’m not regretting that it didn’t turn out well…

a new love came in. now, i’m sure of it. i’ve been through another ups and downs in this relationship and sadly, it ended up. But what’s the good thing in our relationship is that we remained friends and that even more made us strong as an individual. Some told me it was a tough thing to deal with, but it just happened. one day i noticed that nothing has changed between us. there’s still this chemistry, incomparable. we’re inseparable..or should i say, he’s the one who didn’t want to miss a second without me by his side.

in short, we’re back in each others arms.  we’re nearing two years as lovers, 5 years of friendship. he’s back in my system or i’m back in his arms. i’ve fought the fight and he’s mine. i’m pissed off with the problems i’ve encountered, history repeats itself, but i’m way too stronger unlike before. anyone (such as FLIRTS and nonsense pips) who will block my way will have to ready themselves, they would definitely hate me for what i can do to protect my heart.

amon’s back..so what? i’m in the arms of someone whom, for now, i will love and spend my present life with.

bitter?!!!

bakit ba may mga taong di nila matanggap na hindi sila magugustuhan ng taong gusto nila? patuloy ba silang mamumuhay sa ilusyon na one day, iiwan ng taong yun ang tanging taong magpapasaya sa kanya para sa taong bitter at naghihintay pa din na magbago isip ng gusto niya?

naging parte ng pagkatao ko ang samu’t saring emosyon. nagpakatanga ako, naghintay sa wala, nag-flirt (slight at walang karelasyon ung guy), nag-experiment (wag green ha!hehe), nagpaasa, umasa, nagmahal, minahal, nasaktan, nanakit, umiyak, sumaya…at ngayon nga, mas naging handa ako sa anumang laban ng puso. dahil di ko naman itinatanggi na pinagdaanan ko ang ganyang mga pakiramdam. at kahit sabihin nga na may ka-relasyon naman ako ngayon, pinanghahawakan ko ang pagmamahal sa Diyos at sa pamilya ko..bago ang sarili ko at ang other half ko ngayon. hindi ako nagsasalita ng tapos, wala rin akong itinatanggi sa mga possibilities: mag-work man o hindi. pinaghandaan ko na anuman ang mangyayari.

pero may mga tao talagang alam naman nilang walang chance, haller, wag na. at dahil alam na nga na walang chance, wag nang sariwain pa ang mga bagay na makakadagdag lang sa sakit ng kalooban. nagiging pangit din kasi tignan na sa sobrang pagprotekta sa nararamdaman (para lang hindi lumabas na kahiya-hiya), eh ibang tao naman ang napapasama.

ang pagiging bitter eh mas matindi kesa ang magalit ka lang sa taong nanakit sa damdamin mo. doon kasi sa bitter feelings, bumaon na at mahirap nang mawala yung sama ng loob. at matagal maghilom iyon sa paglipas ng panahon (or kung maghihilom man). pero sa ganang akin, ang ganyang klase ng pakiramdam won’t do you any good. instead, lalo ka lang nagiging LOSER kasi mismo sa sarili mo di katanggap-tanggap yun pinagdaanan ng puso mo. ok lang sana if yung pagiging bitter would let you stand out eh..kaso nagiging downfall pa dahil nga pati yung walang malay sa nararamdaman mo eh nadadamay…at sino nga ba ang mas basag ang puso sa actions and words, kahit unspoken ones? i don’t think yung taong dahilan ng pagiging bitter mo ung tatablan nun.

one more thing, too much bitteness would lead to high blood…kaw ba naman kumain ng sobrang ampalaya eh kung hindi umabot dugo mo hanggang sa pinakadulo ng ugat ng utak mo.

peace out…tamaan, bitter!!!

alam ni katrina yun at ni chona.

i’m really irritated, mad, all sorts of feelings that i can give to the person i really hate to see now. ang haba nga daw ng hair ko sabi ng donya…pero di ko talaga maatim na masira un binubuo ulit namen ni morning.at nakakapikon pa, nawawalan ng tiwala si morning saken.

i hate myself for being so honest. for doing good things to make the relationship work. i hate myself for giving amon a chance to talk with me for once…i hate it more when i cry and i can do nothing but leave it all behind coz it won’t do any good…kasalanan ko ba kasi na maganda ako para pagaksyahan pa ng panahon ng lalaking matagal ko nang inalis sa sistema ko…

bwisit…di ko na talaga kinaya un kagabi. nagmixed na lahat eh..andun un mapaghinalaan ka, ung kulitin ka…nakakapikon at talagang nagalit ako…at ung galit na un..dinaan ko na lang sa iyak…nyeta,,baket bumalik ka pa!

thanks Chona and most especially Kat for hearing me out…kulang na lang sumigaw ako at ibato sa hangin lahat ng iyak ko kagabi..haay…sana malapit ako sa dagat….baka pwede niya na rin akong tangayin…

isa ka lang pangkaraniwang Dahon sa isang mayabong na Puno. noon din ay panahon na ng tag-lagas. isa ka sa mga Dahong handa ng harapin ang bagay na itinakda ng Maykapal. ngunit kailangan mong mamili ng iyong kahahantungan sa paglisan mo sa Punong pinanggalingan. binigyan ka ng kakayahan o pribilehiyong mamili. dadalhin ka ng Hangin sa dalawang lugar. nasa iyo ang  desisyon: sa Lupa o sa Tubig.

sa Lupa, panatag ang kalooban.may mga darating na karimlan sa iyong babagtasin pero naroon ang mga kasama mong umalis sa Puno.kailangan ka ng Lupa. bahagi ka ng buhay nito simula pa lang, saksi ang pagkakaroon ng Puno na iyong pinaggalingan. kasama sa sirkulo ng buhay-Dahon ang pagtanda kasama ng Lupa. andun ang resistensya na kailangan upang magkaroon ng panibagong Puno, ng panibagong mga Dahon. doon ka dadalhin ng Hangin at alam Niyang tama na sa Lupa ka manatili. doon ang iyong kalulugaran ayon sa plano ng Lumikha.

iba ang hikayat ng Tubig. dadalhin ka ng Hangin sa lugar na may Tubig na umaagos. doon, magagawa mong lakbayin ang dati’y abot lang ng iyong tanaw. doon, mararamdaman mo ang hampas ng alon o ang pag-agos nito, mararamdaman ng iyong katawan ang pagsayaw sa Tubig. andun ang kasiyahan, ang sigla. ngunit malayo ang iyong kahahantungan. hindi alam kung hanggang kailan kayang anurin ng Tubig ang iyong maselang katawan. hindi alam kung asan ang dulo ng Tubig na nag-anyaya sayo sa malawak at walang katapusang kasiyahan at kalayaan. itinalaga ng May Likha ang Tubig at maaari ring kalugaran mo bilang isang Dahon.

torn between feelings. what can a woman do? there’s no such thing as torn between two lovers, especially if they’re not fighting over one person or for the love of that person. maybe it’s just a matter of not assuring oneself who matters to his/her heart…

–the one who’s been there through thick and thin, the one who has given love and never leave, the one who understands and cared enough to show the love any individual would want to have, the one who happens to give the smile the world would want to see upon one’s face…though problems may arise, matters that would test the depth and length of emotions through time..yet remains to be conquered and the love still stands all throughout. this is where the home is.

**or**

–the one who is from the past, who loves unconditionally but remained unseen for years and years back, who once showed the meaning of true love, who once promised to return but years passed by and now, a fter all those times, comes back to fulfill that promise. the one that was tested with trials and complications but able to get through. who followed his own heart and is now willing to take the risk for someone he had left behind. now strong enough to face the truth, now determined to get the heart back to where he believes should belong.

saan nga ba sasama ang Dahon sa panahong dadalhin na siya ng Hangin…sa Lupa o sa Tubig? parehong may pangako ng pagkatuto, parehong may panganib ba susuungin…pero saan nga ba? kanino nga ba?

Almighty GOD

My child,

 

 

You may not know me, but I know everything about you.  

Psalm 139:1  

 

I know when you sit down and when you rise up.  

Psalm 139:2  

 

I am familiar with all your ways.  

Psalm 139:3  

 

Even the very hairs on your head are numbered.  

Matt. 10:29-31  

 

For you were made in my image.  

Gen. 1:27  

 

In me, you live and move and have your being.  

Acts 17:27-28  

 

For you are my offspring.  

Acts 17:28  

 

I knew you even before you were conceived.  

Jeremiah 1:4-5  

 

I chose you, when I planned creation.  

Ephe. 1:1-12  

 

You were not a mistake, for all your days  

are written in my books.  

Psalm 139:15-16  

 

I determined the exact time of your birth,  

and where you would live.  

Acts 17:26  

 

You are fearfully and wonderfully made.  

Psalm 139:14  

 

I knit you together in your mother’s womb.  

Psalm 139:13  

 

And brought you forth on the day you were born.  

Psalm 71:6  

 

I have been misrepresented by those who don’t know me.  

John 8:41.42,44  

 

I am not distant and angry,  

but am the complete expression of love.  

1John 4:16  

 

And it is my desire to lavish my love on you.  

1John 3:1  

 

Simply because you are my child,  

And I am your father.  

1John 3:1  

 

I offer you more than your earthly,  

Father ever could.  

Matt. 7:11  

 

For I am the perfect father.  

Matt. 5:48  

 

Every good gift that you receive,  

Comes from my hand.  

James 1:17  

 

For I am your provider,  

And I meet all your needs.  

Matt. 6:31-33  

 

My plan for your future  

Has always been filled with hope.  

Jeremiah 29:11  

 

Because I love you with an everlasting love.  

Jeremiah 31:3  

 

My thoughts toward you are countless  

As the sand on the seashore.  

Psalm 139:17-18  

 

And I rejoice over you with singing.  

Zepha. 3:17  

 

I will never stop doing good to you.  

Jeremiah 32:40  

 

For you are my treasured possessions.  

Exodus 19:5  

 

I desire to establish you all my heart, and all my soul.  

Jeremiah 32:41  

 

And I want to show you great and marvelous things.  

Jeremiah 38:3  

 

If you seek me with all your heart, you will find me.  

Deute. 4:29  

 

Delight in me, and I will give you the desires of your heart.  

Psalm 37:4  

 

For it is I, who gave you those desires.  

Philip 2:13  

 

I am able to do more for you  

Than you could possibly imagine.  

Ephe. 3:20-21  

 

For I am your greatest encourager.  

2Thessa. 2:16-17  

 

I am also the father who comforts  

You in all yours trouble.  

2Corin. 1:3-4  

 

When you are brokenhearted, I am close to you.  

Psalm 34:18  

 

As a shepherd carries a lamb,  

I have carried you close to my heart.  

Isaiah 40-11  

 

One day I will wipe away every tear from your eyes.  

Rev. 21:3-4  

 

And ill take away all the pain  

You have suffered on this earth.  

Rev. 21:3-4  

 

I am your father, and I love you even  

As I love my son, Jesus.  

John 17:23  

 

For in Jesus, my love for you is revealed.  

John 17:26  

 

He is the exact representation of my being.  

Heb. 1:3  

 

He came to demonstrate that I am for you not against you.  

Romans 8:31  

 

And to tell you, that I am not counting your sins.  

2Corin. 5:18-19  

 

Jesus died, so that you and I could be reconciled.  

2Corin. 5:18-19  

 

His death was the ultimate expression of my love for you.  

1John 4:10  

 

I gave everything I loved that I might gain your love.  

Romans 8:31-32  

 

If you receive the gift of my son Jesus, you receive me.  

1John 2:23  

 

And nothing will ever separate you from my love again.  

Romans 8:38-39  

 

Come home, and ill throw the biggest  

party heaven has ever seen.  

Luke 15:7  

 

I have always been father, and will always be father.  

Ephe. 3:14-15  

 

My question is…  

Will you be my child?  

John 1:12-13  

 

I am waiting for you.  

Luke 15:11-24  

 

 

 

 

Love, your DAD  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

gaano ba kaimportante ang pangalan ng tao? aba, syempre, katulad ng importansya ng hangin sa katawan naten.

baket ko nga ba binabanggit ngayon ang tungkol sa pangalan? hmmm,…out-of-nowhere, bigla ko na lang naisip yung dami ng tinatawag sakin ng mga tao sa paligid ko. bansag na nga siya kung tutuusin, nickname o alias naman para sa iba, gayunpaman, sinasalamin ng iba’t ibang katawagan satin ang istorya ng buhay naten…di ba, kaya nga may mga taong nagtatago sa iba’t ibang pangalan?

eto e iilan lamang sa mga pangalan na binigay sakin ng mga nakapaligid sakin sa loob ng 24 years. at kung bawat bansag sa’yo ay may kaakibat na binyag, aba, hindi lamang 10 beses siguro akong bibinyagan…

bata pa lang ako…

“mic-mic” na ang itinawag ng papa ko sakin. that time, i was a fan of mickey and minnie mouse. dahil bata, ganun talaga ang uso nun. pero sa totoo lang, nanggaling ang palayaw ko na yan sa isang dagang costa na accidentally naging pet ko for how many days lang. a dahil mickey mouse fan noon, tinawag ko itong “mic.” I was 5 years old then, and i cried when “mic” died a week after i met it.

sa church namin ngayon, “mic-mic” na rin ang itinawag sakin ng best bud ko before na si jayson. ginamit ko na rin yan nung sumali ako sa gameknb at inalam ni kris aquino ang story behind the name. sa mga different matters, nagagamit ko na din ang name na yan. maraming beses na. at yan din ang tawag sakin ng first ex-bf ko. karamihan ng tumatawag sakin nyan, mga espesyal na tao sa buhay ko. gaya ng ever close brother-cousin ko, at ang mga kapamilya ko.

“iyang,” “yang-yang” lambing sakin ng ate ko. espesyal na tawag din sakin nung bata pa ako.

“yanggot” kulitan namin ng pinsan ko sa bicol ang tawag na ganyan. lahat kasi ng magpipinsan, laging may “got” sa dulo ng mga pangalan o kaya ay “tot.” till now, tawag pren yan sakin ng pinsan ko na nagpasimuno ng ganyang tawagan, si oyot.

“may” dahil daw birthday ko ay may kaya ayun, sinunod din nila ang palayaw na yan dun. maraming beses ko nang nagamit ang tawag na yan. mas madali kesa “mhea” na ii-spell di ba?

“meyang” tawag ng mga kalaro ko nung bata pa kami. noon kasi, nauso yung mga pangalan na may “ng” sa dulo, kaya pati name ko nadamay. actually, si anna na ofismate ko, tinatawag din akong ganyan. 

sa paglipas ng panahon, nag-aral ako. nagkaroon ng mas maraming kakilala, nagtrabaho, nagmahal (naks!) at mas marami na silang itinawag sa akin. marahil ung iba di ko na matandaan pa…at akalain mo na meron pang pati spelling minamali nila. haay!

“meah” ewan ko ba naman kung ilang id at birth certificate pa kelangan ko ipakita sa klasmeyt ko nung college na si angsty para lang maisip niya na hindi ganyan ang spelling ng name ko, sigh! pati nga ung hate na ofismate ko, ganyan din spell ng name ko.sus!

“mea” palagi na lang ganyan,,,fill-out ng form, sasabihin sa mga cashier sa mga fastfood..kahit sa anumang transaction ko na verbal mo sasabihin pangalan, ayan, laging walang “h”.  ofismate ko nga na si chona, ganyan din spelling ng name ko sa kanya. Sows! meron pang “mia” para sa mga kapatiran nating bisaya. sows!

“mhe” kambing lang? haay, lambing o shortcut sa name ko ng isang dating churchmate sa former church ko. short na nga name ko, may iikli pa ba? well, yan un. haays

“best” syempre, from my best irene fernando ang tawag na yan.

“meatot” sabi ko na uso pa nga pala ang “tot” sa huli. tawag yan ng pinaka-ogsi at drawing ko na collegemate at friend at churchmate na si agsitot. see, uso ang “tot,” gayundin si ouitot, at allanetot. hehe

“mami” hmm..syempre, may dadi at mga junakis. ganyan kami nung college, at until sa work ko nadala ko yan. may pamilya kasi kami sa college eh. til now, di paren namin maisip kung pano nabuo ang family. hehe

“mikaella” yan ang ginamit kong name nung telemarketer ako sa isang small company. nagustuhan nila boses ko at kahit naging textmate ko ang iba sa naging client ko, ayun, mikaella peren ginamit kong name.

“alex” yan ang name na panlalaki na gustong-gusto ko. sa chatroom nung college, yan ang gamit kong name.

“maskara” though hindi ko siya name talaga, pero pansamantala kong ginagamit sa mga emails ko at ibang computer accounts.

“yatot” naku…hindi ba obvious sa katawan ko? hmm..di ako affected, swear.

“sexy” tawag ng kapitbahay namin kasi “macho” naman tawag ko sa kanya. may pagka-boyish kasi pero girlalu manamit. ang gulo noh?

may mga espesyal na tawag din. syempre hindi ko na pangalan yun, pero tamang pacute lang..hahaha, such as:

“mahal” and ”honey” from my ex-bf (first) 

“princessa” at “bhe or baby” mula sa ex-bf (second) turned-bf ulit.

currently, nagtatarabaho ako sa iasng kumpanya dito sa makati. at sa una at pormal na trabaho ko which is mag-2 years na ako, eh ung mga ofismate ko eh eto tawag sakin..

“mheabelles” uso kasi ang mga sirenang palabas ng tym na tinawag ako ng isang taga-admin sa tawag na yan. haay, thanks nyssabelles. o ha!

“adik” or “addictus” ganun din naman. sows. ayon yan ke ogsi katrina. hehe. pano, adik ako sa maraming bagay, minsan di nila ma-gets ang trip ko. pero mostly, di talaga nila magets.

anjan yung, papatayin ko na muna ang sarili ko sa ot. adik sa ot.

anjan yung sasabihin kong di muna ako papasok, pero papasok din naman ako,.adik sa pagiging sablay

anjan yung hindi talaga ako papasok ng wala silang kamalay-malay, walang abog…adik sa leave

at ung matindi..ung pagpapakasasa ko sa cocolife benefits..adik sa cocolife.

hehe.

 

marami pang iba siguro. di ko na lang ma-recall. hehe..anu’t anuman, importante ang may pangalan. kasi hindi ka tao pag wala ka nun.

nga pala, ako si mhea, at yan ay isang ebolusyon ng pangalan ko.